I have wrestled public confession
and even my private one's have waned in sincerity
Gradually, secretly my heart rots
I'm infected with the virus- porn
I'm on the wrong side of the preaching stats
drenched like a wounded soldier in spurts of submission
In a lowly state, submerged and consumed by sin
I've chased my godly friends away
In a ttempt to preserve their holiness
for I know the fatality of the disease of my heart
I've surrendered to trust only in the strength of my God
for no human words seems to help except for a temporary conviction
like a demon returned seventh fold, each abstinence has ended
I've heard the lady moan without making her
I've seen the pleasure of pain without inducing it
I've seen the emotions swirl vehemently within
as she danced, in its motion, the serpentine music
I've felt myself cling to the atmosphere of an inexistent body
My blood's gushed out spiritually and my body's had to constrain it
I've been lonely and taken the forbidden pleasure as my companion
TODAY, I'd lie if I say NO MORE, but i choose to will it!
I confess the desire for my spiritual therapy and physical u-turn
Sin isnt a pleasant future but a physical leisure bubble JUST FOR NOW!
The slope of my fall is close to a ninety degree
it will take a massive opposite force to overcome it
Else, a huge ditch sure is about to be formed
under a sermon of God's truth, I feel the taste of true joy
I remember, only in the wosdom of God lies the dynamic dunamis to induce required repentance
My therapist is God my father and his prescription is His word!
I know I'll be healed just in time, in his time...
This is beginning to feel like the fingernails I have chewed since i can remember
bad habits dont get curbed by wishing
and its the other way around,
those without addictions are the sane not the addicted!
Adedolapo Olisa
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/confession-from-the-pit-of-eye-s-lust/
