To make others truly happy would be to let myself fall...
Fall into a world where everything seems counterfeit, doesn’t make since and my mind would be stuffed with smog and when I cough, I only inhale more lies. I despise all the ways that the world tries to mold me. No one understands of even cares to not understand that my life isn’t in their hands and to just let me comprehend my faults and decide if it’s a glitch I consider a flaw. I don’t really like these preconceived notions and how I live how I live with secrets exploding inside of my skin and when I scratch some scabs open the sight of it makes me regurgitate the truth which leads to more hurt then healing to no more blunt revolutions about how everyone’s mistaken about my personality and who I really am. I do believe that I had sins that the Lord holds and when I try once again to not let the flesh bend my spiritual layer which sometimes disappears I am left with nothing but my conscience. It screams and it taunts like a flame and a moth the attraction I have for unholy transactions with me and another lost cause. Old life styles I’m wiping off and I’m rubbing in a new frame of mind. I’m no longer shy to what I’m holding inside to NOT change myself at all...would be to let myself fall.
Cathrine GunterEllis
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/only-god-can-judge-me-3/
