“It’s funny, ” I said
to Henry F and Dilly
in the Teacher’s Center,
“how all our fathers are dead
and how all of us experienced
a tortured relationship
with the old man
leaving scars.”
Henry F said, “He was a cruel man
beat my mother
and when he beat her
I vowed revenge
when I got older
but when I did get older
I never took that revenge”
“The man threw you out of
the house because you married
that Panamanian woman? ”
“Didn’t speak
for two years
called him
didn’t call me back
then cancer struck
declined quickly
in the hospital
I went with my wife to visit
wanted him to bless
the marriage before he died—
childish
but I wanted it.
When I arrived
my mother said, ‘I don’t think it’s a good idea
for her to see him.’ I said, ‘Ma, he’s dying
can’t still have such feelings.’
‘Your father’s very stubborn.’
‘I’m stubborn too’
‘Go up alone or not at all, ’
my mother said. I was heartbroken
my dream of harmony
shattered
then
I remembered when
he didn’t attend
his own father’s funeral.
I went upstairs alone
now so frail
not the man
who beat my mother
lost weight
eyes closed
I shook him
a yellow film dulled
his eyes
making the pupils
appear distant. ‘Hello, dad, ’ I said
didn’t utter a word
only stared
kissed him on the cheek
left
no reconciliation
dead
two days later
refused the funeral.
like him
when
his old man croaked.”
Charles Chaim Wax
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-bold-mission-coming-to-naught/
