These tears just wont stop,
My mind is over~ran with fears,
My heart can't take no more,
My body refuses to get up off this floor.
I feel as if the whole world is crashing down on me,
I try to focus on positivity, but there just isn't any.
Sure, I have you by my side...
The brutal reality of all of this is;
I'll soon be leaving you all behind.
I am blessed with so many loving friends and family,
Yet, my cancer has affcted their lives deeply,
I rarely ever see or hear from most,
Not even a simple 'Hi, how are you doing? '
I don't blame them though,
It's always the same bad news to repost!
I reckon, it's much easier to everyone if I just
Fade aweay instantly,
Rather than slowly day by day.
I don't know which is harder,
Facing my own destiny and fears,
Or knowing with your prolonged silence follows hard~shed tears.
Full of never~ending questions and what if's,
My days and nights often blend together,
I often tend to camophlage my appearence,
Just so I wont see your worry in your eyes,
Or hear the despair in your fearing cries.
I'm not one to pray, but I find myself asking,
'Oh' please Dear God, not today! Not today! '
Isn't it odd though, He doesn't seem to even care,
I swear I stand alone...
If only I could face him, I'd look Him straight in the eye and
Just before I'd start to cry,
I'd stand tall as I offered Him a sturn dare to care!
Kristin Nicole RothDavis
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/my-life-10/
