#nana56b
Lines from the story
After joining the company, I became depressed.
The air that flooded my lungs the moment I
woke each morning always felt as heavy as
lead.
Ever since starting work, color had vanished
from my world. The clatter of keyboards in
the office sounded like a countdown urging
me on, and even my boss's casual sigh made
my heart feel like it was being crushed.
With the doctor's note tucked away in my bag,
unable to confide in anyone, I wore a mask
that said “I'm fine” and swam through murky
water every day to get to work.
That day, my vision felt especially narrow
from the morning. While preparing meeting
materials, I was suddenly struck by a
sensation like my throat was being blocked.
I was breathing air, yet oxygen wasn't
reaching my brain. My fingertips grew cold,
and my heartbeat pounded loudly in my ears.
Then, suddenly, I couldn't speak. My vision
distorted, and cold sweat poured relent
lessly. Desperate not to be noticed, I
stood up on trembling legs and fled to the
locker room.
I collapsed onto the cold tile floor,
gasping for breath. Panicking over my own
panic only made the hyperventilation worse.
Then, in the dead silence of the locker
room, the sound of heavy footsteps echoed.
My heart leapt. It was a senior colleague
from my department. She was strict at work,
always calm and collected, never showing
emotion. Her cool demeanor made her someone
others seemed to fear a little.
(What will she think if she sees me like
this? She'll scold me for lacking
self-control. She'll be disappointed.)
I couldn't lift my face, only hugging my
knees and trembling slightly. Braced for a
look of contempt, I just stared at the
floor.
But the words that reached me weren't
harsh or dismissive.
“...You must have been exhausted. It must
have been painful. You've been enduring it
all alone, haven't you?”
It was a soft, warm, compassionate voice.
She gently sat down beside me and, without
hesitation, wrapped both her hands around
my trembling ones. Her warmth slowly seeped
into my frozen fingertips.
“It's okay. You don't have to say anything
right now. You don't have to think about
anything. ...I'm sorry I didn't notice
sooner.”
At that moment, the taut string snapped.
Unspeakable sobs burst from deep within my
throat.
The dark, cold loneliness I'd never told
anyone about. The anxiety I'd carried alone,
so intense it kept me awake at night. All
of it turned into tears, washing over my
vision. I cried out loud like a child.
She didn't ask any questions. She just held
my hands tightly until I stopped crying.
I felt the heavy air around us gradually
lighten.
It was a moment when color finally began
to return to the world.
